I hate dentists, its not personal

I had three patients in a row on Thursday tell me how much they disliked visiting the dentist; “nothing personal, of course”

And then another couple on Friday.

There were probably others, but I wasn’t counting at that point in time.

Most of these patients were new to me; a couple were patients I have seen for a long time and we have a familiar relationship but they still feel the need to make these comments even though we feel like friends, and they say I’m the exception to the rule and it's not personal.

They still say it though, just as a joke.

We’re all familiar with this scenario and I’m sure we all have different coping mechanisms that we adjust for the patient.

I assume that what the patient is really saying is, “I’m anxious about being here, please don’t hurt me.”

That they’re trying to relieve their own tension by making a joke.

I suppose what they don’t always realise is that it takes its toll on the dental team. That it can sometimes feel like the assumption is that you don’t care if you hurt them or not and that you need reminding not to. That you’re not professional. That you’re not already aware that they are nervous. that they haven’t been for eighteen years and there must be a reason for that.

Sometimes I make a joke. Sometimes I might say something along the lines of “you love me really”.

It's actually not funny though.

And if you're having a tough day or a tough time it doesn't help.

We would never walk up to anyone and say these things, and yet it's ok in the dentist’s office.

With new patients I ask them what makes them feel that way, what it is they don’t like, what's happened previously; so that I can avoid that happening or be aware of the issue during the appointment. To uncover the real issue.

I think what the patients don’t realise is that we might have heard that comment multiple times that day. For days on end; years even.

Something that I’m trying to do with my patients is getting them thinking about changing their mindset.

If a patient walks into an appointment focusing on all the bad things that have happened or that might happen, then they’re already emotionally activated. What’s important is for them to recognise their feelings, own them and reframe with some breathing or focusing on something else.

At the end of the appointment, suggest that the patient refocuses on the fact that things were better than they expected and the positives of the experience. Imprint these thoughts and weaken the negative thoughts.

Just a suggestion.

There’s more voices talking about the issue of stress, burnout and mental health in dentistry. Dr Kyle Stanley has a course and his social media can be thought provoking or even just make it feel OK as a dentist not to like having to endure the impact of these interactions. There’s also a young dentist, doctoravi, who talks about the difficulties of being a young dentist as a way of connecting with his audience and promoting his courses.

I certainly wasn’t taught how to deal with this at dental school, so it’s an area where experienced dentists can help our less experienced colleagues.

Have a great week, don’t forget to share with a dental friend

Rosie